Conflict Resolution-OKAY HOUSE

 ( In conflict resolution there is a model used to identify the causes that triggers problems making a particular person to act in a manner he or she does. Thus I have written it about myself to help my readers reflect on theirs.)

 I will discuss my belonging in the room of the OK house from childhood. Generally speaking it looks like I have occupied rooms two to four at certain stage of my growing up. I believe that all these happen was due to the kind of childhood upbringing and the environment in which I was raised up in. Sometimes I question myself because of the Christian teaching by prophet Jeremiah which states that we planned by God before we were formed in our mothers’ wombs. Thus, I believe that my belonging in the different rooms of the OK was also planned by God before my conception.

Firstly, from the conception to birth I was in room three. That was because when my mother conceived for me my father never accepted me. It was not my parents’ aspiration to have me as their child. My mother upon my father’s advice attempted abortion on me which never worked. My no good relationship with my mother started ever since. On my date of birth my mother almost died so the doctors performed cesery in order to save my mother and myself.

As a growing up person I did not have a good relationship with my mother. My mother thinking that I developed this disrespectful behavior from my friends beats me to death consistently. I was stuck in your okay and I am not okay room. Well I don’t blame my mother for that because that was the result of her undereducated background.

I was enrolled in school at the age of six and there I moved into the room 2 of the okay house. There, I started beating my female classmates for lame reasons like teasing and swearing. I continued that kind of behavior up until grade ten in formal education. Things went bad to worse when I went into secondary school I did not have a good relationship with my classmates, my teachers and my mother who was a widow by then. My state of life deteriorated where I was almost suspended from school when I set fire in my own classroom. I faced the disciplinary committee which led to my gating. It was humiliating for me to walk around on the campus with folders for the teachers and the principle to sign after every 40 minutes of the day. My mother and my older siblings did not know that I am that kind of a child. I had a wolf under sheep’s coating attitude.

When I go home for term breaks I am a down to earth person in my mother’s sight. But easily I humble way started to change and the reality of a violent Theonila Roka started to come out clear. My families witnessed my wickedness for the first time when I stabbed my cousin’s boyfriend with a screwdriver. With the wickedness I came to Divine Word University to take up Social and Religious studies.

The unit General Psychology helped me to understand a lot about myself. It even helped to find out the reasons why I act the way I do and why I hate my own mother. I made the most out of that unit so it helped my changed. From room two I am slowly moving into room one. Although it is very difficult to change I am trying my best to make it my business to change. Now I have even come to realize the cause of my mischief gone bad to worse because of my dad’s involuntary departure to grave, that traumatized me even more.

Reflecting at my own life I realized that I usually thought that I was physically smart as man. However, I never understood that my mischief was contributing towards devaluing myself. Without using my God given conscience I was denying Gods love for me as well.

All in all I can say that my growing up was a challenge to confront. My own parents were the root causes of my existence in either of the rooms in the Okay house. I believe that if my parents have never neglected me when I was a fetus I could have never been such a black sheep in my family. Things turn out worse when dad died on the 18^th of March 1993 when I was only three. Growing up in a hostile environment known for killing men, raping mothers and young females was a challenge for me. My mother would advice my to know how to fight back in order to protect myself for men using me as a sex material, fortunately I was only four, age where no man can be interested in having sex. When my mother and I moved away from the village to move into town in search of good education, mom found a house in town where we shared a neighborhood with a family with both parents alive. Coming to realize that I was a fatherless person made me started questioning my mother about my dad’s whereabouts.

My mother would never say anything to explain my dad’s death because she was as well traumatized by the fact that my dad was shot to death right in front of her sight. Upon that reason she would beat me and my older siblings to death for asking her question about our dad.