by Miss Theonila Roka
Marriage
Marriage is defined as a lifelong union of a man and a woman as a couple. Love is the greatest gift of union given to the parties for the marriage to be life long. Marriage is not about culture and religion. The first thing that comes into the mind of humanity is "sex" . Sex plays a vital role of course in marriages because the union of same sex is absolutely offensive. Same sex marriages do not have a room for compatibility and polarity of life. You may argue by saying that a person has a dignity as anybody else thus same sex marriages can be instituted. I can reply to that as things that go in opposite compliment each other. Because one can not exist without the other in a sense that the is not result in the same forces acting on each other. Scientifically there can be argument but in theological sense it is obscure take for example this question "Can day exist without night? If yes how?
LOVE
In Marriage when two people want to live together they are joined to a special relationship. It is a covenanted relationship meaning that it is a relationship which each party verbally and by their action declare a total commitment to each other and adopt a way of life which best helps the couples to express each others love. Love develops and grow roots in Marriage and not in the relationship. Relationship is part of building the love. True love however is found in the marriage life with the presence of agape love present in conjugal relationship of a man and woman.
There are four main types of love namely; Philia, Eros, Narcissism and Agape. Philia is the love that makes humanity became real men and women (man to man, man to woman or woman to woman). In real life you may have heard people using expressions like "we are best of friends, or unspeakable friends, my brother from another mother, sisters in arm" These are just some of the expressions that expresses Philia love. Philia love does not count the sexes.
The other love is the Eros love, Eros love is the love between a man and a woman. In life this love is seen as the most inescapable fact of living from birth to death. Eros love is the polarity between the male and the female;physically, psychologically, spiritually and personally. Bachelors and Spinsters cannot deny this polarity. (can raise an argument on this point if you are a person centered around the sexuality dimension of Eros love).In the marriage institution eros love call the partners to form one flesh. It reveals the riches of being able to give oneself to the other in the joy of meeting two hearts of opposite polarity to be one to make a person become whole.
The third type of love found in relations and some marriages is the Narcissism (self love). This is the kind of love which destroys the destined marriages. There is the presence of violence in the homes at present because of this form of love. Young gets married to the old for the love of material things that will satisfy oneself. This type of love does not develops a relationship rather destroys it. Narcissism is found in the people who do not except their endowments. Jealousy one of the fruits of Narcissism.
The fourth type of love is the Agape love. Agape love is the one encouraged in relationships who are planning to be married later.
The love that unites partners together is not the true love but it is more of the four discussed. However, it develops as the time passes.
LOVE AND HUMAN SEXUALITY
Humanity is called to love and to self-giving with body and spirit. Femininity and masculinity are complimentary gifts which makes human sexuality and integrated of love. Sexuality is the component of human sexuality which expresses the reality of love in a physical manner. One cannot be affected by sexuality when there is mutual trust and love and acceptance of ones endowments. The feeling of love is expressed through sexuality.
Love and human sexuality brings conjunctions in marriage which brings some goods into the society. Goods achieved in marriages are the children and the mutual help of the spouses. Human sexuality is not the aspiration of harmonous life. love (all three discussed excluding Narcissism) as to be established in any relationship prior to sexuality to avoid bad in the society.
Marriages with goods in Papua New Guinea can be achieved through relationships which comes with the consent of the partners family. Marriage is a social institution and it has to take the partners consent for a happy and loving families.
